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Lighten Up Thursday: Support Yourself

Last Lighten up, I talked about identifying the obstacles of success. At the end of the post, I opened the floor for you guys to share your own obstacles. A few people privately contacted me and asked me to talk about one of theirs. After a small of time, I decided to tell you guys about how important it is to support yourself.

Dear Jasemine

I am finally getting getting to the point where I’m confident in my art. Success is so close to me now that I’m not afraid to go for it. My issue is that {paraphrased} the people around me don’t seem to care. I don’t get it. I’m becoming a big deal now but why does no one see it? This makes it so I don’t even wanna be successful. I’m busting my butt and not getting the recognition for anything. What do I do? -R

 

The Solution is Simple: Support Yourself.

I was always looking for other people to support me. As a kid, I wanted my mom to reward me for everything. “I cleaned my room. I did the dishes.” I would sound off proudly each day. One day, my mom sat down and leveled with me. “Jasemine.” She said. “I’m not going to constantly reward you for doing what you’re supposed to do. Doing the right thing should make you happy. You should be proud of yourself.”  So growing up we didn’t really get allowance but my mom would occasionally remind me of how I should be proud of myself by taking us out on surprise trips. Whenever we’d go, it’d make a huge impact. I felt like my achievements were gaining a lot more attention and were important. Eventually, I would strive for myself because I realized the proudest person of me was me.

 

Why Support Myself Though?

 Supporting Yourself Builds Real Confidence

Often times, we look to others for support and become disappointed when no one seems to care. You see, if we’re constantly looking for others to slow clap for everything we do, we’ll become complacent. You’e not necessarily going to push yourself to be better than your average skill level if everyone’s telling you that you’re at your best right now. Real support advocates progress and progress takes time. often times, people see good and bad. They don’t see the steps and hard work. You know who sees that?

You. 

You are the only person who knows when you put forth the real effort to progress. when you support yourself and give yourself the praise you deserve, your confidence shows! People support that! People will be impressed. Support will come but it won’t make you stop because you have the power.

 

It Saves You Disappointment

Lack of real support is often mistaken for need for attention. An attention seeker will do anything for attention. Someone who wants support will push harder. What do they have in common? They get sad when they’re not recognized. We all do. It’s called disappointment, it’s normal and it will kill any source of motivation. These disappointed people fall prey to pseudo supporters (if you don’t know what that is, I beg you to read this article. It will open your eyes.) Psuedo supporters become people who will hinder your growth which transforms into a major obstacle of success. By supporting yourself, you won’t rely on others which in turn spares disappointment and you’ll save yourself an unnecessary hurdle.

 

So how do I support myself?

  • Create a milestone list
    a list of major goals and important stepping stones that’ll get you there. This will encourage you to pace yourself and focus on progress.
  • Find adequate rewards
    For your smaller milestones, maybe you’ll get that pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing. For bigger ones, maybe go make some memories at the next big concert tour coming to your town. Whatever it is, make it work for you.
  • Be realistic and be honest with yourself.
    You need to set your goals realistically and be honest with yourself about making it or not. Don’t sneak that extra cup of coffee in if you didn’t earn it. Don’t cheat yourself. Just be honest. It’ll pay off.

So, if you’re not feeling supported from people around you..

Lighten up and support yourself! Other people will see it and they will acknowledge it. Wear your confidence on your sleeves. Others will see it! I promise.

Lighten up!

Namaste

2 Comments

  • Reply
    Ariel
    September 23, 2014 at 11:27 am

    This was such a great read, Jasemine! You’re so right, omg. It took me a while to grasp the concept of “hey girl, you got this!” It’s great that your mom taught you that at a young age. 🙂

    xoxo,
    Ariel

    • Reply
      Jasemine-Denise
      September 23, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      Thank you Ariel! Even though my mother tried to instill it in me, it took many years of practice to understand. Also, thanks so for much for the blog about pseudo supporters again! I hope that other people learn from both blogs ^_^

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