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What Love Means to Me.

Interlude

The next time you may be falling for someone…. Freeze time. Immortalize every second of it. Take pictures of them sleeping, Tell them you’re thinking of them. Play the songs that make you think of them. Tell them you miss them. Don’t cover up your smiles. Speak your mind. Have crazy sex. Make passionate love. Sing to each other. Take road trips. Hold hands. Listen. Express yourself. Fight and makeup. Cry together and smile. Tell each other about your day. Call and say good morning.

Feel like you’re falling.

At the end of the day, those are the pieces of love that you miss the most.

What Love Means to Me: Love isn’t.

I don’t think I believe in love anymore.

I mean, not the over-romanticized version that everyone puffs up. I don’t like the concept of having to becoming a forced unit. I feel like any relationship where you are only together for “mutual benefit” is doomed for failure. This is my opinion. I have no say on whether it’s right or wrong, this is just how I feel. I don’t believe in this pop-culture, rhythmic love that everyone’s kidding themselves on this strange journey to find.

I’m sure it’s out there. I’m sure it’s real and I respect everyone who travels the seven seas trying to find this fairy tale.

However, I don’t envy them.

What Love Means To Me: Love is.

I believe in mutual reverence. I believe in creating a connection that needs no possession. There is no his or hers, there’s only the feeling of intense admiration. Just by truly being, this person has already moved mountains. These people are ones you won’t to be conjoined with, intermingling with… Not binded. You are not bound, stuck, glued, by any force… You truly want to be with a person or persons. I say persons because as controversial as it sounds, I don’t feel I was made to truly love one person, or else why would I feel so strongly when I hear of any celebration, any life… Why am I constantly feeling warm when I see couples holding hands or sharing exchanged smiles.

Reverence is stronger than any love I’ve ever felt. That’s not to devoid anyone of the time I’ve shared with them but in the coming of this year, I’ve learned that I crave respect and to give it. I feel all emotions all the time and I can’t really envision just thrusting every single one of them upon one person as if it is their responsibility to remind me to feel or not to feel. My goal in life is to see the ones I care about succeed, make changes, be better. The drive to become our dreams and fulfil our destinies means so much more to me than just the average fantasy of sweet nothings and shared notions of things you’ve seen/heard/or read about.

I’m not saying whether I’m right or wrong, only what I feel so that others can manage to understand why I merely demand a higher level of respect. I believe that every man and every woman should feel beautiful, smart, inquisitive, like a creature born out of some plethora of darkness destined to be light. Friendships, lovers, acquaintances alike all share a need to feel needed or wanted.

I only want an overwhelming amount of respect but in a mutual sense, the way a queen accepts a king. Love used to be sacred. It was something you only said when you were ready but now it’s as if we can’t control it, as if we don’t crave the mystery behind the four letters anymore. I love a lot of things. I love my life, I love the concert I attended last night, I love James Marster’s cheekbones… But respect… respect runs deeper and from so many different wells that I can only anticipate the person I mutually understand and respect enough to adore without inhibition. Is that love? I don’t know and I don’t care. I only know what makes me feel whole or broken or confused or amazed.

I didn’t post this for agreement or disagreement. It’s just how I feel and I imagine right now there are others out here, struggling with the feeling of “iI this right for me to feel this way? Have I given up on the love that was promised to me?”

What Love means To Us.

Love is always within you. You don’t need to search for it. You make it, you feel it, you are it everyday. When you share your food with someone, you are showing love. When your girlfriend kisses you goodbye, you are seeing love. What we crave as humans is to show someone our love, our heart and for them hold it dear…. To cherish it… to respect it.

 

Don’t question me on why I cannot simply love one person. I am love. I am merely at my highest when someone recognizes me and allows me to recognize them.

 

2 Comments

  • Reply
    Dan Walasinski
    January 17, 2015 at 1:36 am

    Hi I am going to chime in on this because I have had a similar outlook recently,

    The first time you really fall in love with somebody its like the best thing ever because its the first time, your satisfying all of your desires together that you yearned for during adolescence. Then, if you were like me there were certain areas that were not being for-filled by your significant other or perhaps another person offered you something that your main love was not. Something happens and you overstep the line with your secondary relationship and all of the sudden you are in an affair, you feel the pressure and it shows or perhaps you decide to tell them, but then the relationship turns into a leverage battle and how can you trust that?

    Then the second time around I found a girl who wanted to take things too quick, (Actually they both pressured me to engage with them where I purchased a promise ring instead for my first two loves.) I was more faithful in this relationship although there were a couple side flings and the final string happened when I moved onto college and slept with a girl first night.

    But you know neither one of those girls was right for me, I did not always know what was best for myself as I learned everything along the way as I lived on my own since I was 16.

    I made the adjustments in college where I changed my persona and became a real nerd 🙂 and I eventually made a few best friends who I can trust to this day although we live in different cities.

    During that 4 year period I wasn’t always looking for my lust fix because I was scared that these side girls could creep on a girl I truly became interested in, or perhaps I would catch an STD how are you gonna tell your true love (The girl you ask for marriage) and expect her to stay with you??

    So that’s what I did just being single throughout college and I did scoop out a girl who kinda fit the profile of what I felt like I needed. She was a Jamaican from Queens and she was a true sweetheart, powerful minded, very smart, and athletic yet there were major red flags that I ignored.

    Things were perfect and I held her to a high respect but you know, she did not satisfy me on all levels and overtime there were things about me that she did not like, she expressed it so we split. The split was quick yet it hurt deep and I felt like I had wasted time, I few years passed by and now I’m here loving myself and admiring those who deserve it, those who respect me, and I remain open and do not push for confinement because we should be free in any predicament.

    [But you know I could see this happen again because sometimes you don’t really know them until you spend the times of your lives doing the many different things together.] – SO yeah you have to be open to love lost and love found 🙂

    I don’t fear the superficial, I can really feel a girl if she is real. The respect and admiration can go soo far if there is also the sexual spark as well because polygamy & love is absurd.

    Trust me 🙂

    Great Topics,

    – Dan

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